


Shut Up, Milton

by agent85



Series: 52 Stories in 52 Weeks [27]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Break Up, Canon Compliant, Crack, Drunk Emailing, Epistolary, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-08-10 21:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7862134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agent85/pseuds/agent85
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fitz knows that breakups are hard. He just doesn't know why Milton's breakup has to be so hard on him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shut Up, Milton

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to week twenty-nine of my [52 short stories in 52 weeks challenge](http://agent-85.tumblr.com/52) (a little out of order, but oh well)! This week's prompt: A story opening with the words “F*** you!”

From: Joseph Milton [mailto:j.milton@shield.gov]  
Sent: Thursday, December 20th, 2012 1:56 AM  
To: Leopold Fitz [mailto:l.fitz@shield.gov]  
Subject: Jemna

F*** you!

Thanks,  
J. Milton, Agent of SHIELD  
SciOps, Chemistry Lab

 

From: Leopold Fitz [mailto:l.fitz@shield.gov]  
Sent: Thursday, December 20th, 2012 2:05 AM  
To: Joseph Milton [mailto:j.milton@shield.gov]  
Subject: RE: Jemna

Milton? What are you on about? And why are you on about it at 2 AM?

L. Fitz, Agent of SHIELD  
SciOps, Engineering Department  
"If you can't solve a problem, sleep on it."

 

From: Joseph Milton [mailto:j.milton@shield.gov]  
Sent: Thursday, December 20th, 2012 2:16 AM  
To: Leopold Fitz [mailto:l.fitz@shield.gov]  
Subject: RE: Jemna

She was MINE. SHE WAS MINE AND YPU ******** TOOK HET FROM ME!

Thanks,  
J. Milton, Agent of SHIELD  
SciOps, Chemistry Lab

 

From: Leopold Fitz [mailto:l.fitz@shield.gov]  
Sent: Thursday, December 20th, 2012 2:17 AM  
To: Joseph Milton [mailto:j.milton@shield.gov]  
Subject: RE: Jemna

If this is about Snow, for the last time, she is MY prototype. As are ALL of the DWARFS.

L. Fitz, Agent of SHIELD  
SciOps, Engineering Department  
"If you can't solve a problem, sleep on it."

 

From: Joseph Milton [mailto:j.milton@shield.gov]  
Sent: Thursday, December 20th, 2012 2:34 AM  
To: Leopold Fitz [mailto:l.fitz@shield.gov]  
Subject: RE: Jemna

I can be up at 2 if I WANT to be up at 2, Leopold. Why are YOU UP? HUH? I SEE YOUR NOT WASTING ANY TIME

Thanks,  
J. Milton, Agent of SHIELD  
SciOps, Chemistry Lab

 

From: Leopold Fitz [mailto:l.fitz@shield.gov]  
Sent: Thursday, December 20th, 2012 2:35 AM  
To: Joseph Milton [mailto:j.milton@shield.gov]  
Subject: RE: Jemna

You're drunk, aren't you?

L. Fitz, Agent of SHIELD  
SciOps, Engineering Department  
"If you can't solve a problem, sleep on it."

 

From: Joseph Milton [mailto:j.milton@shield.gov]  
Sent: Thursday, December 20th, 2012 2:52 AM  
To: Leopold Fitz [mailto:l.fitz@shield.gov]  
Subject: RE: Jemna

I can be drunk if I WANT ti be drink! Your not the boss of me!! You don't get to steak my woman and than criticize MY life choices

Thanks,  
J. Milton, Agent of SHIELD  
SciOps, Chemistry Lab

 

From: Leopold Fitz [mailto:l.fitz@shield.gov]  
Sent: Thursday, December 20th, 2012 3:00 AM  
To: Joseph Milton [mailto:j.milton@shield.gov]  
Subject: RE: Jemna

You used "your" instead of "you're" twice. You are definitely drunk.

L. Fitz, Agent of SHIELD  
SciOps, Engineering Department  
"If you can't solve a problem, sleep on it."

 

From: Joseph Milton [mailto:j.milton@shield.gov]  
Sent: Thursday, December 20th, 2012 3:14 AM  
To: Leopold Fitz [mailto:l.fitz@shield.gov]  
Subject: RE: Jemna

Your with ger right now, aren't you? YOUR ARE WITH HER RIGHT NOW

Thanks,  
J. Milton, Agent of SHIELD  
SciOps, Chemistry Lab

 

From: Leopold Fitz [mailto:l.fitz@shield.gov]  
Sent: Thursday, December 20th, 2012 3:16 AM  
To: Joseph Milton [mailto:j.milton@shield.gov]  
Subject: RE: Jemna

If I am working on a highly-classified surveillance system that I devised with the help of my lab partner, it is none of your business.

Stay where you are. I'll come pick you up.

L. Fitz, Agent of SHIELD  
SciOps, Engineering Department  
"If you can't solve a problem, sleep on it."

 

From: Joseph Milton [mailto:j.milton@shield.gov]  
Sent: Thursday, December 20th, 2012 5:42 AM  
To: Leopold Fitz [mailto:l.fitz@shield.gov]  
Subject: RE: Jemna

Do you thimk she would have lived me if I engineered?

Thanks,  
J. Milton, Agent of SHIELD  
SciOps, Chemistry Lab

* * *

From: Joseph Milton [mailto:j.milton@shield.gov]  
Sent: Wednesday, February 15th, 2013 1:18 AM  
To: Leopold Fitz [mailto:l.fitz@shield.gov]  
Subject: RE: Jemna

You're are a pal, Fitz. A real pal. You alwys come throughout for the little guys. It is because your little guy? I don't know, Fitz. I think your a giant. There you are, day by day, workings side by side with that woman and do you fall pray to her charms? No! You are stalwart. You are the best friend I could ever had, and I know you'll be there when the goings get rough because the goings are ALWAYS rough you know? I know. I know, Fitz. I know.

Thanks,  
J. Milton, Agent of SHIELD  
SciOps, Chemistry Lab

 

From: Leopold Fitz [mailto:l.fitz@shield.gov]  
Sent: Wednesday, February 15th, 2013 1:24 AM  
To: Joseph Milton [mailto:j.milton@shield.gov]  
Subject: RE: Jemna

I'm on my way. Don't go anywhere this time.

L. Fitz, Agent of SHIELD  
SciOps, Engineering Department  
"If you can't solve a problem, sleep on it."

* * *

From: Joseph Milton [mailto:j.milton@shield.gov]  
Sent: Wednesday, July 4th, 2013 11:50 PM  
To: Leopold Fitz [mailto:l.fitz@shield.gov]  
Subject: RE: Jemna

I did it again, Fitz. I really did it. I told you I wouldn't do it, but what did I do? I did! I though about us. The way she would laugh when I wasn't even making jokes, you knew? And try not to laugh? And then role her eyes when I told her she was more beautiful than the petals of the universe?? I have to face ot Fitz. I live her. She is the love if my life. I have yo get her backm Fitz. I have to. You have to let her go. She belongs with me. You have to know that!! You have to feel it the way I feel it.

I don't feel so good bit I can feel it so you should feel it.

Thanks,  
J. Milton, Agent of SHIELD  
SciOps, Chemistry Lab

 

From: Leopold Fitz [mailto:l.fitz@shield.gov]  
Sent: Thursday, July 5th, 2013 12:20 AM  
To: Joseph Milton [mailto:j.milton@shield.gov]  
Subject: RE: Jemna

Milton, you dated Simmons for A WEEK, over SIX MONTHS ago. You're gonna have to get over it.  
I'm out of town at a conference, but I have a buddy on loan from the Triskillion who'll come fetch you.

L. Fitz, Agent of SHIELD  
SciOps, Engineering Department  
"If you can't solve a problem, sleep on it."

* * *

From: Joseph Milton [mailto:j.milton@shield.gov]  
Sent: Thursday, September 12th, 2013 2:55 AM  
To: Leopold Fitz [mailto:l.fitz@shield.gov]  
Subject: RE: Jemna

Just  
Everything  
My  
Mother  
Always wanted

Thanks,  
J. Milton, Agent of SHIELD  
SciOps, Chemistry Lab

 

From: Leopold Fitz [mailto:l.fitz@shield.gov]  
Sent: Thursday, September 12th, 2013 9:05 AM  
To: Joseph Milton [mailto:j.milton@shield.gov]  
Subject: RE: Jemna

Milton, you need to stop this. It's getting weird.

L. Fitz, Agent of SHIELD  
SciOps, Engineering Department  
"If you can't solve a problem, sleep on it."

* * *

From: Joseph Milton [mailto:j.milton@shield.gov]  
Sent: Saturday, October 19th, 2013 3:15 AM  
To: Leopold Fitz [mailto:l.fitz@shield.gov]  
Subject: RE: Jemna

I can't believe your on a plane! A PLANE, Fitz! You and Jemma exploring the workd! You always said that you didn't live her l, bit I know you do. You know why I know?? I would, to. I would do it. I'd go on that plane. Even if she didn't ask me to! She's turn around, and there I was! There's Miltom! And she would laugh and I would laugh and it would be just like the movies, Fitz. Me and Jemma. In the sunset. Flying. Making little angle babies. Are you making angel babies, Fitz? You should be. Angel babies are the best babies. Everyone knows that.

Thanks,  
J. Milton, Agent of SHIELD  
SciOps, Chemistry

 

From: Leopold Fitz [mailto:l.fitz@shield.gov]  
Sent: Monday, October 21st, 2013 10:07 AM  
To: Joseph Milton [mailto:j.milton@shield.gov]  
Subject: RE: Jemna

Stop emailing me.

L. Fitz, Agent of SHIELD  
Engineer, SHIELD Mobile Command Unit 616  
"If you can't solve a problem, sleep on it."

* * *

From: Joseph Milton [mailto:j.milton@shield.gov]  
Sent: Saturday, November 9th, 2013 12:35 AM  
To: Leopold Fitz [mailto:l.fitz@shield.gov]  
Subject: RE: Jemna

You know what, Fitz? I know! And I know that you know that I know! You love Jemma, too. You always have. You keep denying it, be me thinketh you doth protesteth too much. You'll see it, too. Some guy will point a gun at her, and your very first thought will be, "Milton! Miltokn was right! Why didn't I listen to Milton???" Well, why didn't you, Fitz? WHY DIDN'T YOU??

Thanks,  
J. Milton, Agent of SHIELD  
SciOps, Chemistry

 

From: Leopold Fitz [mailto:l.fitz@shield.gov]  
Sent: Monday, November 11th, 2013 3:16 PM  
To: Joseph Milton [mailto:j.milton@shield.gov]  
Subject: RE: Jemna

Milton, I know you don't know this but, something happened. Jemma got sick, and now she's better, but I just don't have time to deal with this right now.

L. Fitz, Agent of SHIELD  
Engineer, SHIELD Mobile Command Unit 616  
"If you can't solve a problem, sleep on it."

* * *

Re: (no subject) Sept 11 2014  
Joseph Milton  
to me, Jemma

HAHA I bet you thought you saw the last if me!! ShIELD fell, but here I am! Here's Milton!! Why can't we have nice things, Fitz?? Why? Well it's okay. I'm okay. You tell Jemma I am FINE. And not thinking bout her in her birthday. Nope. I'm out having a good time with other people. Other women.

I am fine.

Thanks,  
Milton

 

Re: (no subject) Sept 19 2014  
Leopold Fitz  
to Joseph

Milton, where are you? How did you get this email address?

-Fitz

* * *

Re: (no subject) Feb 14 2016  
Joseph Milton  
to me

Hey Fitz! It's been a while! I bet you're wondering what good old Milton is up to! Wellm I am dating A LOT. All the time. All the ladies want me. I am the one that hot away. You should tell Jemma that.

Thanks,  
Milton

 

Re: (no subject) Feb 21 2016  
Leopold Fitz

Shut up, Milton.

-Fitz

* * *

Re: (no subject) Jun 25 2016  
Joseph Milton  
to me, Jemma

You know what, Fitz? To ***** with Jemma. She never loved me! I bet she never really lived you, either. That's why your my best friend. Women always hate best friends, you know? They always do. I'm glad you never let Jemna ruin you the way she ruined me. You were always the smart one!!! You were!!!!

Thanks,  
Milton

 

Re: (no subject) Jul 6 2016  
Jemma Simmons

Milton,

I wish I could say that it's a pleasure to hear from you after all these years.

After a little digging, I am surprised to discover that you and Fitz have been corresponding for quite some time. I'm going to ask you to stop immediately, and I would like to remind you that if you don't stop, I have enough resources at my disposal to make sure that you never contact Fitz, or anyone else for that matter.

In short, please leave my boyfriend alone. He is very busy making me blissfully happy, and he really doesn't have time for a person who sensors his own swear words.

P.S. If you loved me so much, why couldn't you spell my name right?

Dr. Jemma Simmons

 

Re: (no subject) Jul 7 2016  
Joseph Milton  
to me, Fitz

Mazeltov.

Thanks,  
Milton

**Author's Note:**

> Did you know that Joey Milton is a canon Marvel character? He gets beat up by somebody.
> 
> I regularly post sneak peeks and general ramblings about my writing on [my tumblr](http://agent-85.tumblr.com/tagged/Writings%20of%20Agent%2085).


End file.
